


I Need You, Though

by InesStarkDowney



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers needs Tony Stark, Tony Stark needs Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10384095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InesStarkDowney/pseuds/InesStarkDowney
Summary: Steve was ready to walk away from another fight with Tony, because these days all they did seem to do was fight. Whatever they truly had to say to one another after all that happened was lost between the pointless screams. But then Tony spoke:"I need you, though!"And Steve wasn't so sure about leaving, anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that all that Steve and Tony need is a good talk (more like a good fight) to fix things somehow and let them try again, even though a part of me is looking exasperated and sighing because it's impossible. 
> 
> Sorry if Tony's monologue is kinda confused, but I just poured it all out. 
> 
> And at whatever mention of Bucky there is and the choices that Steve made in the beginning of the movie: I adore Bucky and I understood Steve till a certain point. This is more about Steve lying and leaving without a second thought than anything else.

"I need you, though!"

Steve stopped dead in his tracks, breathing in the freezing air of winter in the middle of the night, that reminded him too much of the day Bucky fell, and the day he himself fell and the day Tony and him fell down a spiraling never ending cycle of fighting one another, because they were far too broken. Now, Tony’s words left him there to breathe in bad memories, with a hopeless heart begging for a new memory to be made, but this time a good one.

Steve turned to look at Tony, in his winter jacket, a dark red scarf around his neck, his hands deep in his pockets, probably trying to find some warmth, and his face… Tony looked at him with wide brown eyes, showing too many emotions all at once like they usually did and that tended to leave Steve breathless, because it was too much in a bad way and in a good way. Because with Tony there was never something good without the bad part, and Steve guessed, that’s what kept him hooked. Tony was real and addicting and so very annoying and beautiful, and Steve was having trouble breathing.

Tony licked his lips that seemed frozen and dry under that cold weather, one of the coldest winters of New York that seemed to have come along with the coldness the Avengers had fallen into. Smoke left his mouth every time he opened it to talk, but no words ever left. Tony was trying to control himself, because Steve and him have been without any control for the past months, and not even minutes ago they had been shouting at each other like the world was about to end because they had ended before they could even start. And the anger, God, the anger never seemed to have vanished when it came to Steve, and Tony always felt like there was too much to say but not enough time… Steve tended always to leave one way or another. But not that time, not that goddamn time.

"I need you, Steve." It finally came out and it came out with Steve’s name and from then on, there was no stopping. Tony was on a free fall. "I still need you after everything we’ve been through, after all the shit you’ve put me through. But it doesn’t mean I am not mad at you or that I don’t fucking hate you, but, God damn it, don’t you dare walk out on me again! You can’t leave again. You left once, and it was a nightmare. You came back, and the nightmare turned to hell because we are in this stupid war that doesn’t seem to end! I want it to end but I can’t let it go, Steve. You were reckless, stubborn, a complete and utter bastard that stabbed me, repeatedly even after I begged for mercy. I fucking told you “We need you, Cap” and yet, all you could hear was Bucky and all you could see was Bucky. I get it, you belong to him! But did you ever wonder that maybe I belong to you, you selfish bastard? You are selfish. You go around, giving hope, giving out love for then to take it out like that, like it was all a game. You lied, you hid things no one should hide, much less a friend because you are my friend! God, Rogers, you’re more than that. You’re… You’re… I hate you. I fucking hate you. Look at what you made me. You did everything wrong to me: lied, cheated, betrayed, loved me… No, you made me think you loved me. And yet, yet, yet here I am begging you again to stay because even after everything, even if I can’t forgive and forget, I still need you. I need you… I-I can’t do this anymore."

Tony looked up desperately, up at the night sky with the tall buildings in it, all shining with Christmas lights. He needed to breathe, but he couldn’t. The tears were about to break, like he was about to break. He was tired after all these fights of back and forth and yet he wanted to keep on fighting, because someone needed to break first. Guess it would be him, like always.

Tony groaned aloud, more like a scream and kicked the snow on the ground, because the silence was unbearable, because there had been too many silences before and they all ended with Steve leaving him there, cold and alone.

But this time, Steve looked at him, those clear azure eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. The words had burnt, yes, as they should, and yet they had flourished something inside of him again. Oh, yes, hope. Steve looked at Tony and he saw the tears, the cold sweat, the despair, those purple lips turned red, the heavy blush that hanged on Tony’s cheeks that must burn but that Steve wanted to be burnt by. There it was, the memory he had come to build and rebuild in his dreams in case it never ever got to be a memory. But now it was. It was there and Steve could almost hold it. Steve was going to hold it and keep it forever. He would tell that memory years later, realizing it was the moment that changed his life forever, the moment that if he had walked away from it would have meant regret.

Steve breathed in the cold, winter air and yes, he breathed, but he breathed anxiety and fear. One, two, three steps and with his hands on Tony’s red but burning cold cheeks, Steve kissed him, like he should have kissed in the times he said goodbye before. Tony held on to Steve’s jacket, pulling him hard against him, in despair, because Tony had been desperate for so long and even then, with Steve’s lips on his own, the despair was still there, growing.

Once Steve decided that Tony’s lips were bruised enough from the cold and his own lips, Steve retrieved, but never once taking a step back. Both stayed right there, chests pressed together, bodies finally warm despite the harsh winter around them, and eyes locked.

"It’s… It’s not that easy, Rogers. You can’t just-"

"I know. But I am willing to try, Tony. I want to fight but I want to fight to stay by your side. No more leaving without any words, no more goodbyes that are too hard to survive. I think we have had enough of those."

Tony gulped, damning it all to hell, as Steve was the worst in the world and yet he was the best thing that ever happened to Tony.

"I need you, too, Tony. I need you."

Tony nodded and Steve was back to bruising his cold lips. For once, Tony didn’t mind the cuts that would be left after this.


End file.
